How to Give a BlowJob – Beginner’s Guide

Getting Started Basics

Before diving into any techniques, there are some basics that beginners should know.

1. Adjust your mindset

To become skilled in the art of oral pleasure, many women first need to adjust their mindset. The first step to giving a great blowjob is:
Don’t treat it like a job
When people first start exploring sexual intimacy, they may have an instinctive aversion to giving blowjob, thinking that they don’t want to use their mouths, meant for eating, on a man’s genitals. However, his penis is just as interesting and adorable as your vagina.

It emerges, changes size, and dances and nods along with your rhythm. And during a blowjob, you are like the controller of this toy, directing and manipulating every aspect of it. Isn’t that fun to think about? Once you adopt this mindset, you’ll feel more relaxed, won’t you?

So, a high-quality blowjob not only makes your partner crazy about you, but it also provides you with immense psychological satisfaction and a sense of accomplishment. Who knows, you might become addicted to blowjob, just like him.

2. Men need foreplay too

Although men are generally more easily aroused and stimulated than women, it doesn’t mean you should immediately pull down his underwear and start going at it with your mouth. Otherwise, your man might develop automatic impotence before every blowjob, and don’t blame me for it (¬､¬).

Start with gentle kissing, and if you’re feeling playful, whisper in his ear that you want to surprise him today. If he hasn’t taken off his shirt yet, now is the time for you to help him with that. In short, blowjob often requires a longer and more detailed warm-up than usual.

3. Tease and withhold

“Tease and withhold” is a tried and true mantra that still applies to blowjob!

Next, we start from the neck, gently kissing our way down to the navel. Extend your tongue, draw circles around the navel, and give a few gentle sucks on his lower abdomen. Just when he thinks you’re going to continue downwards, stop!!!

Use your tongue and lips to return to where you started. At this point, he won’t be able to resist lowering himself to embrace your head and kiss you. Stay there for a while until you feel he can’t take it any longer, then push him down or kneel down yourself (depending on whether your man prefers being passive or active). Bite the edge of his underwear with your teeth, use your hands to remove it, and let his dick spring out.

4. Don’t focus solely on your mouth

Use a combination of mouth, tongue, and hands – all three are essential!

I remember when I was a beginner, my partner said to me, “Imagine it’s an ice cream that you can’t bite and is about to melt.” The imagery was so vivid that it instantly clicked for me. Later, I found out that he didn’t come up with that line himself, but I still think it’s a great metaphor that can help beginners. Treat it like you would treat that ice cream, with the tongue as the main player, focusing on its movements and coordinating with your hands and lips. Why? According to the BBC’s 21st-century guide to sex, the principle of a blowjob is to create tightness with your hand, provide moisture and warmth with your mouth and tongue, combining to create a lovely sensation akin to a vagina.

How to Give a Blow Job Technique

1. Hand and mouth in sync

Start by gripping the base of the penis with your hand and use the tip of your tongue to circle around the head. Once it’s moistened with saliva, lick down and then up, repeating this motion several times. Then, move your hand upwards to the top of his penis, with your thumb gently caressing the head (assuming it’s already moistened). At the same time, move your mouth down to take care of his testicles: gently hold one with your lips, being careful not to apply too much pressure, and extend your tongue to lick it a few times. If you’re confident in your abilities, you can also give it a gentle suck.

2. Pay attention to the “collar” of the penis

The “collar” refers to the groove between the head and the shaft, the outermost circle just below the head. It’s the most sensitive area for men. Use the tip of your tongue to stimulate it and it will drive him crazy.

3. Don’t forget the movement of your tongue during the up and down motion

That means while your mouth is moving up and down, your tongue should also be active. Initially, you might feel like your tongue doesn’t have a place to go or that it may accidentally touch the back of your throat, causing discomfort. Well, as your head moves up and down, let your tongue circle inside.

4. Balance work and rest, don’t tire yourself out

Performing a blowjob for a long time can be exhausting. After a while, your mouth and cheeks may feel sore. Take a break and repeat the hand and mouth motion, licking and caressing, to rest your facial muscles.

5. Deep throat

This final step is not necessary and can be quite challenging, as it may trigger a gag reflex. It’s not imperative to take it all the way to the throat, just find a depth that you’re comfortable with. The key is to go deeper while creating suction with your cheeks.

6. Add auditory stimulation

Your partner is already experiencing visual and sensory stimulation, so why not add some auditory pleasure as well? Make sounds while performing the blowjob to enhance his experience.

Common Misconceptions

Here are some common complaints and experiences shared by male friends about blowjob “torture” that can leave a significant psychological impact. Take a look and see if any apply to you.

For Her:

1. Don’t treat blowjob as a special occasion, gift, or sacrifice. Many women think that by emphasizing the specialness of a BJ, it implies that they are reluctantly and uninterestedly giving it to please their partner. Unless your partner enjoys a forced feeling, it’s best not to make him feel that you find it repulsive.

2. Absolutely do not bite him… protect your teeth! Practice with a banana or dildo sex toy to learn how to perform an up-and-down motion without leaving teeth marks. Otherwise, nothing is more frustrating and scary than finding bite marks during a blowjob.

3. Don’t just focus on sucking. This is a common complaint. Many women think that a blowjob is similar to sucking on a popsicle, forcefully enveloping the penis. However, this can cause pain, and without the gentle involvement of the tongue, he won’t feel pleasure.

4. Don’t keep your hand completely still on the penis. The pleasure from mouth and tongue alone has its limits.

5. Avoid constantly asking if he’s comfortable, enjoying it, or feeling pleasure. Just like during sex, you wouldn’t like to be asked all the time. The level of stimulation can be gauged from his facial expressions, movements, sounds, and reactions.

6. If he ejaculates prematurely, don’t excessively ridicule him, show disappointment, or get upset with him.

For Him:

1. Clean yourself beforehand. No explanation needed, strong odors can be a major turn-off.

2. Don’t hesitate to give praise and don’t hold back your sounds. If a certain action she performs brings you pleasure, let her know. Similarly, if she does something you don’t like, gently and kindly communicate it to her, saying, “Darling, please don’t do that.”

3. It’s natural to have the urge to guide her with your hands or make slight movements, but be mindful and don’t make her cry or gag.

4. If you’re aware of ejaculation approaching, communicate it, even if you’ve been together for a long time. It’s basic courtesy.

5. Don’t force the woman to swallow your semen.

Further Readings: DIY Cock Ring: 16 Methods to Make Your Own